Invader Zim: The Legend of Sleepy Hollow
by Looneygamemaster
Summary: Everyone's favorite maniacal green alien stars in this classic horror tale! Happy Halloween!
1. IchaZim Crane

Disclaimer: I don't own Invader Zim; that belongs to Jhonen Vasquez. Nor do I own The Legend of Sleepy Hollow; that was written by Washington Irving, and this is based on the Disney version..

This is my first story, so please be gentle.

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Chapter 1: IchaZim Crane

Greetings inferior earthlings! I am the Almighty Tallest Purple. Bow before my superior narrating skills as I read you this story …huh? No, I don't read Earth literature! I _skim_.

…

Don't tell Red, please?

Anyway, since it's the time you earth creatures call "Halloweenie", I decided to read this book called "sleeping hollow" or something…fine, fine, "The Legend of Sleepy Hollow!" I admit it, I read inferior Earth literature! Get off my case!

Even if you've heard this story before, stick around; this one is SPECIAL. See, when I read, I like to make people I know the characters. Makes it more relatable for me and more exciting for you! I'm a genius, aren't I? Now, if I could invent the easy-open snack bag…

So, enough of that. Imagine, if you will, a time in ancient Earth times, when "Man Hats an" was but a simple market town. In the bosom (he-he) of one of the little coves that indent the shores of the Hudson River, lies the peaceful little village of Tarrytown.

It's a quiet, peaceful place, and yet somehow… foreboding (That means scary, in case you stupid earthlings couldn't understand). For it abounds in haunted spots, twilight tales and local superstitions. The best known story concerns a iti…itina.. a homeless school master who once roamed the village. Indeed some say his melancholy spirit still haunts the vicinity. (Oooo—scary!)

The silly earth settlers described him as a most unusual person. He was short (ha ha ha!), and green-skinned, with an idiotic piece of black hair to hide his antenna, and goofy contact lenses to hide his Irken red eyes. And of course, always with him, was his brain-dead robot, stupidly disguised as a green dog.

"Moooooo!! I'm a dog!! See me moo!!"

"Silence GIR! We don't have any lines yet!"

"Okey-dokey!"

Ahem…It was late one drowsy autumn afternoon when the strange figure arrived at the peaceful village of Sleepy Hollow. There were all kinds of silly humans there, but the silliest was a big-headed kid named Dib Membrane.

"My head's not big!!"

Yeah, yeah. Anyway, Dib was the kind of person who believed in aliens, Bigfoot, etc. The other humans made fun of him for this—they only believed in ghosts.

"Hey, you're Dib, right? Did you chase off that Xlord? Heh, heh."

"It's Xlorg, yes! No thanks to all of you!" Dib looked at his sister for help. "Tell him Gaz!"

"Shut up. I'm at the last level."

That was how Dib's life went—until the day that the schoolmaster came to the village. Dib was the first to catch a glimpse of the odd schoolmaster; he was looking through his telescope to see if he could find "brain-mites." Seeing him strutting along, Dib couldn't help but exclaim:

_Odds bodkins! Gadzooks!_

_Look at that old spook of spooks!_

The other townsfolk soon noticed him as well. Instead of just talking about him, however, they started talking about him…in song. (Don't ask me! You earthlings made the musical!)

_Who's that comin' down the street?_

_Are they sticks or are they feet?_

_Small and squat, green skin and bone_

_With clothes a scarecrow would hate to own_

_Yet he has a certain air_

_Debonair and devil-may-care_

Two girls, Gretchen and Zita by name, poked their heads out of their windows.

"_It's the new schoolmaster!"_

"_What's his name?"_

Zim gave a curt bow.

"_IchaZim. IchaZim Crane."_

_IchaZim, what a name_

_Kind of odd, but nice just the same_

_Funny pan, funny frame_

_IchaZim, IchaZim Crane_

_IchaZim may be quaint_

_May be odd and maybe he ain't_

_Anyway there's no complaint _

_From IchaZim, IchaZim Crane_

And though the arrival of the pedag..pede.. schoolmaster gave rise to mixed emotions, the townspeople all agreed they'd never seen anyone

_Like IchaZim, IchaZim Crane_

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Read and Review, please!


	2. Takrina

Disclaimer: I don't own Invader Zim; that belongs to Jhonen Vasquez. Nor do I own The Legend of Sleepy Hollow; that was written by Washington Irving, and this is based on the Disney version...

Ch. 2: Takrina

The school room became IchaZim's empire, over which, with lordly dignity, he held absolute sway. Literally.

"Greetings, earth-stink children! I am ICHAZIM CRANE, your new ruler. BOW TO ME!!"

That was how their first lesson went. In the days to come, he was slightly less power-hungry, but ever bore in mind the golden maxim: Spare the rod and spoil the child. Or in this case, spare the laser. One time, upon seeing two boys draw an insulting picture of him (it labeled him "Mr. IchaZim Toad"), he set his portable laser to "incinerate"; fortunately, the boys were scared into apologizing.

Still, he was careful to administer justice with discrimination, for it behooved him to keep on good terms with his pupils—especially if their mothers happened to be good cooks.

"Would you like some turkey, Mr. Crane?"

Controlling his salivation caused by that wondrous aroma, IchaZim, ever calm (in his own mind), said, "Well, if you insist, stink-beast mother, I will partake of your disgusting slop."

_Who's the town's ladies' man?_

_Gets around like nobody can_

_Has to be, none other than,_

_IchaZim, IchaZim Crane_

Thus, as time went by, it may be seen that the pedi.. schoolmaster got on tolerably enough…except for one person.

As IchaZim took his morning walk (with GIR on his self-insisted leash, to make look like a dog), he came upon none other than Dib. Pausing in his walk, IchaZim was slightly disturbed by the intensive gaze Dib fixed him with.

"Yes? Can I help you, stink-beast?"

Dib stared at him a bit longer, and then shouted to everyone around him, "ALIEN!! He's an alien!!" IchaZim's eyes widened, and he looked around nervously.

The other people groaned.

"Not again," a brown boy known only as "The Letter M", said. "You said that those crop circles that the cows caused were made by aliens."

"They were!! They disguised themselves as cows!! And that's not the point!! He's an alien!! Look at him! He dosen't have any ears!! He's green!!"

"I have a skin disorder, stink-beast," IchaZim commented cooly, his confidence regained by the crowd's reaction to Dib's exclamation. "Now if you'll excuse me…"

As he walked off, he looked back at Dib, who mouthed the words "**I'm watching you."**

Well, it was probably inevitable that IchaZim would gain the enmity of Dib. Still, to the schoolmaster, these were small matters. Indeed, despite his constant screaming, he possessed a remarkable equanimity which remained quite undisturbed…until that fateful day when his path was crossed by a woman. A certain woman.

Takrina Van Tassel, daughter and only child of Lard Nar Van Tassel, the richest farmer in the countryside (and the oddest—he claimed that milk made his crops "grow real big") She was pale, yet strikingly beautiful, with blue hair, and a constant smirk, which proclaimed, quite plainly, the power she held over all the young men's hearts. Indeed, as she had a picnic that day, she was hard pressed _not _to find a man who would carry her luggage.

_Once you have met that little blunette, Takrina,_

_You won't forget Takrina._

_But nobody yet has ever upset Takrina_

_That cute (and evil) blunette Takrina_

_You can do more with Margaret or Helena_

_Or Ann or Angelina_

_But Takrina will kiss and run. To her a romance is fun,_

_With always another one to start._

As IchaZim was having his own picnic with young Gretchen (more to sample her cooking skills than her looks) he happened to catch sight of the fair Takrina, leading all the other boys along to find just the right spot for her picnic. Spellbound, he watched as the blunette smirked, and winked at him, before running off with the other boys.

_And yet when you've met that little blunette Takrina_

_You've lost your heart. _


	3. Rivals in Love

Disclaimer: I don't own Invader Zim; that belongs to Jhonen Vasquez. Nor do I own The Legend of Sleepy Hollow; that was written by Washington Irving, and this is based on the Disney version...

To those who read, I'm sorry if the first two chapters have been somewhat dull. Much of Disney's "Legend of Sleepy Hollow" is song and sight gags, neither of which translates well to story form. I can safely say, however, that the rest of the story will be better.

Ch. 3: Rivals in Love

At the schoolhouse, things had never been more different. The children threw airplanes, mud, and yelled as much as they liked; one would think it was a playroom instead of a classroom. Sitting at the podium was a book, held by two hands—until one looked closer and saw that they were merely gloves. IchaZim sat behind the podium, an uncharacteristic grin plastered on his face, as he daintaly plucked a feather duster like a flower. Had the children been making a ruckus on any other day, the schoolmaster would have shouted and threatened them with "Mr. Electric Chair," but today, his mind was as far away from work as possible. His mind was on a girl—the fair Takrina.

Now, there was no doubt that Takrina was the richest prize in the countryside. And the schoolmaster, being an ambitious man, at once began to fill his mind with thoughts of fancy.

"Ah, Takrina my love," he whispered to himself. "Who can resist your grace? Your charm? And," IchaZim's grin grew cunning, "who can resist your father's moneys making farm?" For though the schoolmaster had love on his mind, he was always one to keep _all _profit in mind.

"Such luscious corn,"he continued. "Huh…corn? They might as well be made of gold." In his mind, he envisioned the vast fields of the Van Tassel farm, and the infinite number of cornstalks, which turned to gold corns, as well as the hundreds of cabbage, which seemed to be made of money. "Not to mention that lovely green stuff, heh heh."

"Sweet Takrina, my lovely treasure…Treasure, yesss, yesss," he snickered to himself as he imagined the farm, and the overflowing riches that could not be contained.

"Dear Takrina. Papa's only daughter…Papa?" A new lovely thought entered his head, as he imagined old Lard Nar, fancily dressed and smoking the finest pipe. "Well, the old goat can't take it with him—especially if he were to have an 'accident.'" His grin became wicked. "And when he cuts out, that's when _I _cut in." He then imagined Lard Nar disappearing, and himself arrayed in his fine apparel.

"Poor, poor Takrina," he muttered, almost feverishly. "Don't worry, my love pig, IchaZim will protect you. Ah yes," he said as he held his feather duster in a dramatic, Shakesperian manner. "Takrina, you've won me. I surrender myself, body and soul."

_And yet when you've met that little blunette Takrina_

_You've lost your heart._

It was the following day when IchaZim decided to make his advances; he observed, hiding in the nearby bushes, the number of boys carrying Takrina's bags while she entered the grocer. Well, needless to say, every entry to Takrina's heart was jealously guarded. Ah, but IchaZim was confident; he'd ride roughshod over these simple country earthlings. After all, his intelligence far surpassed theirs, not to mention his looks, his modesty…

However, there was one obstacle that IchaZim had failed to reckon with…

Dib walked over to the many boys at the store, wearing a rather sinister grin. Smoothing it away, he waved his hand, as if he was among friends, and shouted, "Hey guys!"

The biggest boy, Torque by name, looked at Dib with indifference. "What do you want, Dib?"

"Oh, nothing. I just heard that Takrina's taken a fancy to Keef…"

That was all he needed to say—the none-too bright boys immediately dropped the bags and ran off, muttering something about "showing him that love hurts."

Dib chuckled. "What's amazing is that they've fallen for that 27 times." As Takrina came out, and saw, to her dismay, the scattered shopping, Dib stepped forward, and, with an unusually confident air, said, "Hey Takrina. Looks like your friends had to go someplace." He took out a metal device, which instantly sprouted many robotic arms. "Mind if I help?"

Takrina sighed. "Might as well." Although, truth be told, Takrina did like Dib, she was simply _bored_ with the ease that he cleared out her admirers, and often wished someone else would take the field. Suddenly, her eyes caught sight of IchaZim, and smirked.

_Miracles do come true_, she thought to herself. Putting on her "sweet" air, she approached the pedagogue (ha! I said it) and give a flirtatious wink.

"Eh?" IchaZim looked around. Seeing no one else, he shrugged, and bowed to her. "Hello my dear. Is there anything IchaZim can do for you?"

"And that's all…of them?" Dib stared, in astonishment at the scene before him. Takrina took IchaZim's elbow and gave him—_a smile?!_

"I don't think so, alien!!" Dib raced toward the two with a rather scary-looking glare. As the two approached a mud puddle, IchaZim stopped. Taking off his Dutch cloak, he laid it on the mud, and extended his arm.

"After yo—AHHHHHH! IT BURNS!! IT BURNS!!" Dib had slammed into IchaZim, pushing him into the mud (and causing large burn marks to sprout forth). He then took Takrina's elbow and marched off, looking behind and scowling. Takrina looked behind as well; smirking, she took her lace-covered handkerchief and blew it over to the fallen schoolmaster.

Grabbing hold of it, IchaZim almost instantly forgot his pain in the blissful feelings that followed from the token. Perhaps a wiser man would have given up after a calamity like that, but they say love is blind. And IchaZim was aware only that love and fortune was at last thundering at his doorstep.

"YESSSSSSSS!!" The schoolmaster made quite a sight, dashing with superhuman speed, across the field, over the stone wall, and straight to Takrina's house…right at the same time Dib and Takrina arrived. An immense cloud of dust, kicked up by IchaZim's frenzied dash, blindsighted the two, and resulted in IchaZim taking a surprised Takrina by the elbow. Seeing her change in suitor, Takrina looked behind her to see a confused Dib. Smirking again, she leaned slightly closer to the schoolmaster.

"Who—but—what—how—ergh!!" Dib angrily charged at the pair—unaware that the IchaZim had closed the gate behind him.

SMASH!!

The two looked behind to see Dib, among a pile of scattered packages. Chuckling, IchaZim said, "I'll help him, my love-pig, don't worry."

Dib got to his feet and glared at IchaZim. "Alright, ALIEN. I like a joke as much as the next guy but—OOF!" His sentence was cut off by IchaZim stuffing the dropped groceries into his arms.

"Yes, yes, yes. Come Dib-worm, take these shopping materials. I must woo Takrina with my superior Irken charm. CHARM I SAY!!" As IchaZim finished picking up the groceries, he returned to Takrina. Angry, Dib threw aside all the packages and again lunged at the schoolmaster—only to trip and fall into a bag of flour.

IchaZim shrugged. "Humans. What can you do?" Bending down, IchaZim began picking up the groceries _again_. As he grabbed for a series of potatoes that had fallen on the scattered flour, he felt something odd. "Hmm…That doesn't feel like an earth potato."

"Aht's by dose."

"Hmm? I didn't catch that."

"I taid, aht's by dose."

"Oh! It's your nose."

"Des."

Shrugging, IchaZim carried the scattered groceries and deposited them to Takrina, unaware of the Dib's furious emergence from the flour pile, the resulting scene looking like a miniature volcano.

"Until next time, fair Takrina." IchaZim bowed at the door.

Takrina smiled seductively. "Until then," she said, and went inside. Smiling, IchaZim turned around to return home—only to meet a VERY angry Dib.

"LISTEN you!" Dib shouted, grabbing the schoolmaster by the neck. "Takrina's MY girl!! Stay away from her or I'll…

"Hello boys."

Both stared upward as Takrina gazed from her window, looking amused. "What are you two doing?"

"Ah, nothing, nothing!" Dib hastily began dusting IchaZim off, while the schoolmaster simply waved with a dazed expression. "Just helping my friend out!"

"Okay," Takrina responded with a gaze that clearly said, "I know better." "I'll see you two later."

"Right, right." As Takrina closed the window, Dib, making sure she was gone, turned around and swung his fist around, intending to belt IchaZim.

What he punched—was a tree.

"OWWWWW!! SPLINTERS!!" Through his pain riddled senses, Dib saw IchaZim (who had somehow slunk away from his grasp) trotting away from the house and whistling gaily, with love clearly on his mind.

"ENOUGH!!" Dib ran toward the gate and climbed atop. He then jumped off the gate, intending to lunge and grab IchaZim. Unfortunately, luck was not on his side, as the schoolmaster, completely oblivious to his rival's violent intent, stooped over to examine something on the ground. Having pushed off the gate too hard, Dib sailed clear over him and landed in the nearby well.

IcaZim, with a triumphant grin, held up the object he had found: a horseshoe. "YES!! Victory for IchaZim!! My luck is unsurpassed." Kissing it (and subsequently spitting in disgust), he tossed the horseshoe away—straight into the well. Dib, who had just climbed out, suddenly felt his head assaulted with a heavy metal object.

Dazed, his vision of the schoolmaster seemed to split into two. "H-hey c-come back. I'll b-beat you, I-IchaZim, I'll b-beat both of you." Shaking his head to clear it, Dib was forced to admit that he had found a worthy rival. Still, wars are neither won nor lost at the first encounter; the high-flying pedagogue may yet be brought to earth.

"And I'm not a guy who gives up!" Dib exclaimed, attempting to bend the discard horseshoe in anger.

And failing miserably.

"Hey, come on." Dib strained to bend the horseshow, only succeeding in making his large head red. "My head's not…ugh, whatever. I'm going to bed."

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Please Read and Review.


	4. The Headless Horseman

Disclaimer: I don't own Invader Zim; that belongs to Jhonen Vasquez. Nor do I own The Legend of Sleepy Hollow; that was written by Washington Irving, and this is based on the Disney version...

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Ch. 4: The Headless Horseman

It was on the occasion of old Lard Nar's annual Halloween party that Takrina again chose to stir the smoldering embers of rivalry. For this reason, one of her invitations contained a very _personal_ touch.

_P.S. Please come._

IchaZim was in a glorious mood as he prepared for the party. To him, the postscript in his invitation could mean only one thing.

"Ah, IchaZim, she has chosen your superior charm," he mused to himself as he applied his human "disguise" while looking in his mirror. "It is hardly surprising; any female would be foolish _not _to accept me as their love-pig. Simply impress her once more at this party, and the fair Takrina is yours for the taking." His disguise set, and his best Dutch clothes on person, IchaZim shouted, "GIR!!"

The robot arrived, already arrayed in his dog disguise. "HIIII Master!! You's lookin' PURDY!! Where we goin'!! Will there be tacos?! TACOS!!"

IchaZim sighed. "I told you FIVE TIMES GIR, we're going to the Halloween party. Now cease your pointless chatter and initiate rocket mode; I need to be there quickly."

"OKAY!!" Taking off his suit, the demented robot sprouted rockets in his feet, grabbed IchaZim, and took off, smashing through both the house, and every tree in sight, with IchaZim yelling all the way.

"I SAID QUICKLY, NOT LIGHTSPEED!!"

In all the countryside, there was nothing to equal the merrymaking of Lard Nar Van Tassel's farm. To IchaZim, this was a perfect field for his endeaveor. Now indeed would he put his best foot forward—for among his many talents (infinite according to him) the schoolmaster prided himself on his dancing. He made for quite a sight, gracefully dancing with Takrina, for all to behold.

The unhappy Dib, sitting on the bench for people without partners (catchy name, eh?) already bested at every turn, grumpily saw himself once more outmatched. For as he saw the pair dancing, he was forced to admit to himself (though he would _never _say it aloud) that here, here was a flawless picture of ease and grace.

"Blast it, I hate him," Dib muttered to himself. His sister, who was sitting on the bench with him, engrossed in her GameSlave, looked up and smirked.

"There's always the option you have every year." She inclined her head towards the end of the bench where Gretchen, who, like Dib, never had a dance partner, looked up hopefully. Dib shuddered.

"You're si-" He stopped in mid-sentence, as an idea entered his mind, and a twisted grin graced his features. Getting up, he bowed toward the end of the bench. "May I have this dance?"

"DIB!!" Grabbing hold of Dib like a vice, Gretchen ran onto the dance floor. Much to Dib's dismay, she seemed less interested in dancing, and more in squeezing the boy as tight as she could.

Trying to relax her grip (without her noticing) Dib noticed IchaZim and Takrina. With a sinister, unnaturally polite smile, he led the wild girl over to the pair, waited for them to separate, and shouted, "SWITCH!!"

Instantly he tossed Gretchen at IchaZim (who evidently was so excited she didn't notice). He then took Takrina's hand and began dancing with her. Takrina merely smiled to herself, glad that her plan was going so well.

It was Heaven for Dib. Unfortunately, it only lasted 10 seconds.

"SWITCH TO YOU TOO DIB!!" With that shout, IchaZim somehow popped up between them, leading Gretchen back to her crab-grip around Dib's body.

"No, no—darn it, loosen up—ICHAZIM!!" Seeing the couple dancing around the nearby pillars, Dib began a mad dash after them. Unfortunately, the schoolmaster seemed to be one step ahead of him, and shouted, "GIR!! PLAN 32!!"

"YIPPIEE!!" The robot dashed away from the buffet table (where he had been stuffing tacos into his mouth, and into "Piggy's" mouth), and opening up his head, shot out a paste that landed on Gretchen's hand. Horrified, Dib saw that he was now stuck to his dance partner.

"NOOOOOOOO!!" Dib frantically tried to rub the substance off, a task made difficult by Gretchen's hug-dancing. As he tried to look for IchaZim and Takrina, however, suddenly the paste fell off.

"Huh?" After a few attempts, he managed to sniff the substance and realized something. "This isn't paste-paste; it's fish-paste!

"They go great on tacos!! WOOO-HOOO!!"

Grateful for the robot's stupidity, Dib made his way back to the bench and, finally prying his dance partner off, made way to find the pair again—but he didn't get far before Gretchen latched onto him again. "Darn it, get off!! You're like a lamprey!!"

"Does that mean I'm beautiful?!" Looking as though she'd faint, Gretchen squeezed tighter (a feat Dib didn't know was possible), she looked at him starry-eyed. "I love you Dib!! I'll never let you go!!"

"GET OFF!!" Leading her over to the stable door, Dib shoved the mad girl off, pushed her in, and shut it, panting. "Never—pant—again—pant."

But he quickly regained his energy when he saw IchaZim and Takrina. And more importantly, where they were dancing—a covered staircase.

Grinning wickedly again, he sneaked over, as the fiddlers sped up the song, taking it from a brisk dosie-do, to a wild hoedown. (You earthlings and your jargon! You're confusing me!) As IchaZim began dancing more wildly himself, Dib reached over, and opened the latch. Now all he had to do was wait. "That's right alien, keep dancing. You're gonna dance right into…

"DIB!!"

"CRUD!!" Seeing Gretchen and her wild fervor, Dib backed up—right into the stairs. "AHHHHH!"

Gretchen stared, confusedly. "Dib?" she asked. "Where'd you go?" Then, she smiled and walked away. "Boys—they always play hard to get."

As a bruised and battered Dib crawled back onto the bench, Gaz didn't even bat an eye as she said, "Didn't work, did it?"

Dib scowled. "Your sisterly concern is touching." Gaz merely snickered.

Well, with his incredible dancing, there was little doubt that IchaZim was the man of the hour, and Dib knew that he must concede his rival still another victory.

And yet…there was still a chance his time would come. As the guests (which consisted of the entire village) sat down to the buffet, a curious incident occurred. Reaching for the salt, IchaZim accidently tipped the container over. He stared at the container blankly for a few seconds, and then screamed.

"I HAVE SPILLED THE SALT!! I HAVE INCITED BAD LUCK!! I MUST RECTIFIY IT!!" Quickly throwing three pinches of salt over his shoulder, he instantly calmed, and announced, "The bad luck has passed!"

And then he continued eating as though nothing had happened.

The other guests, after staring in befuddlement for a bit, continued eating as well—except for Dib. A diabolical grin, more evil than either of his previous ones, snaked onto his lips. You see, as the hour grew cold, Lard Nar always called on his guests to tell ghosts stories. And from that little outburst, Dib now knew that there was no bigger believer in ghosts and superstitions than IchaZim Crane.

"Well, now," Lard Nar announced, "who shall begin the stories to scare?"

"Me!Me!" Dib raised his hand like a schoolboy (an action that seemed out of place with his twisted grin)

"Very well, young Dib. Begin the story." The other guests all began murmuring in excitement. For though they all didn't care for Dib, they had to admit, he told one heck of a ghost story.

Dib stood up, stared at IchaZim and Takrina sitting in the corner, grinned wickedly for a few seconds, and began:

_Just gather 'round and I'll elucidate_

_On what goes on outside when it gets late._

'_Round about midnight, the ghosts and banshees,_

_They get together for their nightly jamboree._

_There's things with horns and saucer eyes!_

_And some with fangs about this size._

IchaZim gulped at the descriptions, but quickly wiped it away with (what he took to be) a calm chuckle. Gretchen and Zita joined in the tale.

_**Some are fat**_

_**And some are thin**_

Old Mrs. Bitters joined in as well, her frightening appearance lending great prescence.

_**And some don't even wear their skin!**_

Dib smirked as he went straight up to IchaZim.

_Oooh, I'm telling you brother, it's a frightful sight,_

_To see what goes on, on Halloween night._

The wind, sounding like a ghastly shriek, blew the covers onto IchaZim. Tossing them off, he continued listening with nervous attention.

_Oh, when the spooks have their midnight jamboree,_

_They break it up with fiendish glee._

_The ghosts are bad, but the one that's cursed,_

_Is the Headless Horseman, he's the worst._

_**That's right, he's a fright on Halloween night!**_

_Oh, when he goes a joggin' across the land,_

_Holdin' his noggin in his hand,_

_Demons take one look and groan,_

_And they hit the road for parts unknown._

_**Beware, take care, he rides alone!**_

The schoolmaster was so frightened that he didn't notice he was spilling his tea onto his skin. As he started to scream, he noticed Takrina giggling (whether at the story, or at him, he couldn't tell), and covered both his fright and pain with a nervous smile.

_And there's no spook like a spook that's spurned._

_**They don't like him, and he's really burned!**_

_He swears to the longest day he's dead,_

_**He'll show them he can get a head!**_

To illustrate his tale, Dib took both a Jack-O-Lantern and a knife. He tossed the pumpkin into the fire.

_They say he's tired of his flaming top._

_He's got a yen to make a swap._

_So he rides, one night each year,_

_To find a head in the hollow here._

_**Now, he likes em' little, he likes em' big.**_

_**Parted in the middle, or a wig.**_

_**Black or white, or even red.**_

_The Headless Horseman needs a head._

_**With a hip-hip and a clippity-clop,**_

_**He's out lookin' for a top to chop.**_

_**But don't try to figure out a plan!**_

_**You can't reason with a headless man!**_

Now IchaZim's whole terrified attention was on Dib's tale.

_Now, if you doubt this tale is so,_

_I met that spook, just a year ago._

_Now, I didn't stop for a second look,_

_But made for the bridge that spans the brook._

_For once you cross that bridge my friend_

_**The ghost is through, his power ends.**_

_So, when you're riding home tonight,_

_Make for the bridge, with all your might._

_He'll be down in the hollow there._

_He needs your head. Look out! Beware!_

_**With a hip-hip and a clippity-clop,**_

_**He's out lookin' for a head to swap.**_

_**But don't try to figure out a plan,**_

_**You can't reason with a headless man!**_

The guests burst into applause—all except for IchaZim, who was so frightened, he couldn't even move. Lard Nar clapped enthusiastically. "Excellent, excellent. Now who's next?"

"I'd like to go."

"Ah, yes, little girl, go on, go on."

Gaz took the center of the fireplace. As she spoke, her eyes opened to reveal frightening orbs. "This is a true story. It's about what happened to someone who got in my zone…"

The story terrified all who listened. In that, perhaps, IchaZim was lucky; he was so horror bound with Dib's story, that he didn't hear a word.

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Read and Review, please!


	5. Ride Through the Hollow

Disclaimer: I don't own Invader Zim; that belongs to Jhonen Vasquez. Nor do I own The Legend of Sleepy Hollow; that was written by Washington Irving, and this is based on the Disney version...

Before I start, I want anyone who's reading to keep something in mind. The scene I'm attempting to reproduce is one of the most frightening animated scenes ever, and while I'll do my best to keep the scares, I simply can't do the scene justice. I therefore encourage anyone who hasn't to see Disney's "Legend of Sleepy Hollow." It's a real Halloween treat.

Well, that was a shameless plug. On another note, some of you might have noticed that I've changed the story's rating, from K to K+. Don't want little kids stumbling onto this story and getting scared, after all…

Now, on to the final chapter!

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Ch. 5: Ride through the Hollow

It was the very witching hour of night that IchaZim pursued his journey home (which, due to writer's convenience, was on the other side of the hollow). The sky grew darker as one by one, the stars blinked out their light. Rising clouds obscured the moonlight. Never had the schoolmaster felt so melancholy, so utterly alone, and the nearer he approached the hollow, the more dismal he became—despite his best attempts to convince himself otherwise.

"Ah, yes!" he shouted to no one. "I am now journeying to my home! I am completely calm! I have absolutely no fear of any foolish Earth ghost story! NONE AT ALL!!"

"Do ghosts eat tacos?" GIR inquired, straddled alongside, clad in his dog suit and leash. "I gotta protect them!! PROTECT THE TACOS!!" IchaZim covered his face with his hand.

"Thank the Tallest for intelligent conversation," he muttered sarcastically. Pulling GIR along, he entered the hollow, attempting to whistle to soothe his jumpy nerves. Unfortunately, all he could manage was a blowing noise. (You know, the kind that sounds really stupid? Ha ha! Zim can't whistle!)

Once inside the murky glen, IchaZim's anxiety increase a hundredfold. As he looked up at the sky, the clouds seemed to turn into wicked looking claws that covered the moon, his only source of light. As he looked back, the forest seemed to close in behind him. Every detail of Dib's awful tale returned to haunt his recollection.

Trotting at a slightly quickened pace, he held his head high, doing his best to ignore the gusts of wind that sounded like howling, and the cawing of birds that, in that dark hollow, seemed to turn into wicked laughter. Increasing his pace slightly more, IchaZim suddenly came to a stop.

And screamed.

"AHHHHHHHH!! GHOST!! GHOOOST!!"

Indeed it did appear to be a ghost that had suddenly jutted out in front of him—but, in his fright the schoolmaster looked closer, as the ghost's two eyes suddenly flew out. It was merely an old tree, with two fireflies lodging within it. IchaZim's terrified expression melted into a defiant sneer.

"Puny fireflies! You do not scare IchaZim! NOTHING SCARES ICHAZIM!! NOTHING!!"

"I like nothing!" GIR responded with an idiotic grin.

"SILENCE GIR!"

Continuing his march, IchaZim's sneer soon faded, as he began hearing a sound; the sound of crickets. Their chirping appeared to say:

"_IchaZim."_

"_IchaZim."_

"_IchaZim."_

Marching along, the schoolmaster heard another sound; the sound of an owl.

"_Whooo? Whooo? Whoo?"_

And as he passed a small pond, he first heard the wind, blowing the reefs and creating a sound like ghastly moaning. Worse, his nervous mind seemed to interpret the croaking of a frog as:

"_Headless Horseman!"_

"_Headless Horseman!"_

"_Headless Horseman!"_

"No, no no!" IchaZim tried to block the horrifying sounds out. Instead of dimming however, they became worse, as they melded and became faster.

"_IchaZim!"_

"_Whooo?"_

"_Headless Horseman!"_

"_IchaZim!"_

"_IchaZim!"_

"_Whooo?"_

"_Whooo?"_

"_Headless Horseman!"_

"_Headless Horseman!"_

"_Horse, Horse, Horse, Horse…"_

And then he felt something grab him.

"AHHHHHHHH!" Not realizing it was only a tree branch, IchaZim dashed away (with GIR gleefully following, unaware of his master's fright). As he ran, he became tangled in spiderwebs, and frantically tried to pull them off. With his vision obscured, he tripped right over something heavy.

"OOOOF!"

It was a tombstone. The schoolmaster had arrived at a small graveyard. As he rose to his feet, a crow, scattered from his crash, rose off and flew away cawing, "_Beware! Beware! Beware! Beware…_"

As IchaZim's pain-riddled senses cleared, he became conscious of two facts.

The first was a large clopping noise, like the sound of a horse.

_Clop-clop-clop…_

And the second, was that GIR wasn't moving (he was playing in the mud puddle next to the tombstone). Even if he was, he wouldn't have made that kind of sound.

_Clop-Clop-Clop…_

Putting those two facts, together, IchaZim's eyes widened at his horrifying conclusion. Desperately, he said, "GIR…GIR…h-horse steps," his normally shrill voice reduced to a rasping whisper.

"I'm makin' mud pies!! Want some, master!!"

_CLOP-CLOP-CLOP…_

As the noise grew louder, IchaZim, abandoning his useless robot, scrambled over the tombstone, attempting dash again. Instead, he stumbled over GIR, and rolled all the way over to a nearby log.

Where there were daffodils.

Being blown by the wind.

Making a clopping sound.

Zim stared at the plants. Then…

"He-he-he-he…" He began laughing. "Heh-heh-heh heh-heh-heh…" Steadily, his laughter grew louder in volume. "Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!!

GIR stared at his master for a bit, and then began laughing as well. "He-he-he-he-he."

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!"

"EHEHEHEHEHEHE!!"

"**YAH, HA HA HA HA!!"**

IchaZim froze (GIR, always a little slow, kept laughing). That was not his laugh. Nor was it GIR's…

"**YAH, HA HA HA HA!!"**

IchaZim's blood ran cold, as his eyes followed where the laughter was coming from.

And there…a nightmare. Six feet tall, with a body covered in black armor, mounted upon a black steed that looked like it came straight from Hades. A terrible, wicked looking sword in one hand. A flaming pumpkin in the other hand. And no head. Just an empty gap that echoed with laugher.

"**YAH, HA HA HA HA!!"**

"AHHHHHHH!!" Both the schoolmaster and his robot screamed with terror. As the Headless Horseman swung his sword, IchaZim shouted, "GIR!! ROCKET-MODE!! NOW!!"

The robot didn't need to be told twice, as it sprouted rockets, and took off, with IchaZim barely managing to grab hold of him. As the two blasted away with blinding speed, IchaZim chanced a look back…and saw that, by some unholy power, the Horseman was fast approaching them.

"FASTER!! FASTER!! FASTER!!" As GIR increased his speed, IchaZim began to slip off. So fraught with terror was he that he failed to notice…until he felt hot breathing upon him, and saw the black horse face-to-face.

"**YAH, HA HA HA HA!!"**

The Horseman swung, and the schoolmaster, frantically climbing to regain his position, barely ducked. As the horrifying chase drew to a chasm, IchaZim and GIR went straight down, while the ghoul's horse jumped quite a distance over them.

Looking back, IchaZim sighed with relief. "I think we've lost him GIR…"

"**YAH, HA HA HA HA!!"**

"AHHHHH!!" The schoolmaster slammed his head down, again narrowly avoiding the Horseman's blade. The path split up ahead, and the panic-ridden GIR took the lower path, losing the ghost—but landing headfirst into a lake.

"GO GO GO!" The robot flew through the water, straight through a rock, and right onto the path again.

"**YAH, HA HA HA HA!!"**

The Horseman swung again, and IchaZim shouted, "DESCEND GIR!! DESCEND AND REVERSE!!"

Dodging by a hair's breadth, the two took off into the opposite direction, and the demon quickly followed them. Seeing a skinny tree, IchaZim's terrified mind was somehow able to form an idea.

"GRAB THE TREE GIR!! GRAB IT!!"

The robot did so, and the momentum from the rockets swung them around, while the Horseman was forced to turn his horse around, giving the schoolmaster a sizable lead.

Seeing the bridge up ahead, IchaZim remembered the final words of Dib's story.

_Once you cross that bridge my friends,_

_The ghost is through. His power ends._

"YES! GO GIR! GO FOR THE BRIDGE!" Unfortunately, GIR's leash (which the robot had somehow kept despite taking off his suit) snagged onto an overhanging branch, forcing the two down, and spinning them into some mud.

As IchaZim cleared his face of the goop, he noticed, to his horror, that the bridge was becoming _farther_ instead of _closer._ The spin had reversed them! "NO GIR! THE OTHER WAY! THE OTHER WAY!!"

But it was too late. Seeing the Horseman, the robot braked, and slammed right into the horse. IchaZim, being close to the ghost's top height, looked inside his head-hole, and screamed.

"AHHHHHH!!"

"**YAH, HA HA HA HA!!"**

IchaZim ducked as the Horseman swung yet again. Starting its rockets again, GIR dashed towards a tree, and began rocketing around it, while the demon followed suit. The two figures and their steeds began a mad dash around the tree—which was interrupted when IchaZim was slammed into an overhanging branch, swung off GIR and onto the Horseman's horse. Not even noticing, IchaZim kept screaming orders, while GIR and the horse continued chasing each other. As GIR widened the gap in between them, IchaZim caught sight of him and shouted.

"GIR!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! GET US OUT OF THIS…this...this…" Realizing that GIR was right BEHIND him, he gulped. Luckily, he slammed into the same branch, and swung back onto GIR. "TO THE BRIDGE GIR!! THE BRIDGE!!"

The two finally flew out of the loop, and began flying back toward the bridge. As they flew into the overhang, the Horseman skidded his horse to a stop, his prey having seemingly escaped him.

But IchaZim made a fatal mistake.

He looked back.

And screamed.

"**YAH, HA HA HA HA!!"**

The screaming stopped. A large SMASH. More laughter, ringing with unholy glee.

And then…silence.

The next morning, IchaZim's hat was found. Close beside it, a shattered pumpkin. But there was no trace of the schoolmaster.

It was shortly afterward that Dib Membrane led the fair Takrina to the altar. It was a lovely wedding that the entire village attended their mutual dislike of Dib overcome by their love for parties.

Gaz looked up from her game, and grunted. "At least he'll have someone else to pester." Still, if one had been sitting next to her and both looking VERY closely, one would have seen a small smile on her face. Of course, it wouldn't matter, as Gaz would have inflicted unimaginable pain and suffering upon the one who tried to tell someone.

As for IchaZim? There were persisting rumors that he was alive and married to a wealthy widow in a distant county, over whom he could lord and "command to nourish IchaZim with disgusting Earth slop." But of course, the human settlers refused to believe such nonsense.

For they knew, that the schoolmaster had been spirited away…by the Headless Horseman.

"**YAH, HA HA HA HA!!"**

_**With a hip-hip and a clippity-clop,**_

_**He's out looking for a head to swap.**_

_**But don't stop to figure out a plan,**_

_**You can't reason with a headless man!**_

THE END

Well…that was quite scary. For earthlings of course. There's no way _I'd _be scared of this story. It takes a lot more than a silly ghost story to frighten the Almighty Tallest.

…

Um, Red? Could we leave the nightlight on tonight?

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I'd like to thank all those who read this story, and those who reviewed. Remember; if you like it, review it! It's my first story, so I'm open to some constructive criticism.


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